I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
