We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
