why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im holly from the hills drunk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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