im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
