As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize