At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
