The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
