i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize