your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
