HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
