You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize