We're like a lot better than the average bears
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
