Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
