Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
