sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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