everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
