oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hippo gnu deer
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hello my rib-scented angel!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
