mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
