thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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