We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
