Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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