dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize