i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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