party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
