I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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