I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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