After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
