So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
bring money and cleavage
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
