JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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