Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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