I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
