I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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