Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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