; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
