He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Screwed.edu
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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