If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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