i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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