WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
