The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
