He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We were destined to go to rehab together
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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