Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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