tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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