the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
