How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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