you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
