i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The best revenge is premature balding
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
