if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
