If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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