Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize