please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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