is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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