He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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