the day after is always just damage control
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
