if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
