I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I said "one day" and that day is not today
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
