You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
