I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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