when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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